I Used to Have the Biggest Crush

...on post-punk, beatnik folk singer Cindy Lee Berryhill. I knew, just knew, that if only Cindy and I could meet in person away from one of her concerts we'd fall deeply-passionately-eternally in love. When I listened to her songs on my car stereo or in the solitude of my crappy college apartment, Cindy's yearning spoke to me. I probably mistook her yearning as longing for me. Or maybe I adopted it as my own longing and projected it back on her. Or whatever. Ms. Berryhill was the closest thing I ever had to a pop star crush. And she was no pop star. Farah Fawcett had nothing on Cindy.

I can't locate video or audio for the first Cindy Lee Berryhill song I heard back in 1987: "Damn (I Wish I Was a Man)." It was brainy, funny, and quirky--love at first listen. The rest of the album Who's Gonna Save the World changed my world. She took a form I had rejected (folk music), infused it with wit, cynicism, irony, and just a smidge of heartfelt sentimentality. That album will make my top-ten albums of the eighties list, whenever I get around to pulling it together.

Her second album, Naked Movie Star, was just as good. Or better. The sprawling epic "Yipee" became my favorite late-night DJ ace-in-the-hole, and I'm pretty sure its "bump on the head of Bukowski" aesthetic eased more than a few KRCC listeners through the night. I hope so. One never knows. Here's "Indirectly Yours," the sweet, sad single from that album



I have Cindy's first two albums on vinyl but no way to play them, except in my head. I can run through every note of every song when left alone in a dark, quiet room. Which doesn't happen often these days.

I've outgrown my crush. Cindy and I are Facebook friends, and though I admire her from afar I'm sure neither of us would fall madly in love with the other now. She's married. I'm married. We both have kids. I love my wife to death. So to speak. But I know Cindy and I would have a hell of a good conversation if we met now.

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The rest of Cindy's career is a blur to me. Her album Garage Orchestra took a long time to work its way under my skin. Too long. I foolishly traded in my CD. Then bought it back. Then traded it again. Years later, I yearn to hear those songs too. I wasn't ready for the musical leaps she was making, but I like to think I could keep up now.

Here's the song "High Jump" from what I believe was Cindy's fourth album, Straight Outta Marysville:



And here is the great video for her most recent single (though it's probably five or six years old now)--"When Did Jesus Become a Republican?":



You can download the MP3 for that song at Cindy Lee's official site, which has an announcement about a new album coming soon. And you can get to know her better at her blog, Beloved Stranger: Adventures with a brain-injured spouse, musical musings, and whatever else comes to mind. Or visit her myspace page to hear more.

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Final note: I once read an interview in which Cindy Lee Berryhill described her fans as pretty much just "guys with glasses." Ah, to be pigeonholed!

Perhaps that was the moment my crush died.