Friday, May 2, 2014

Your Troubled Young Life

(Trigger warnings: death, depression, drugs, suicide)

I'm not generally a big Neil Young fan--he's fine, really talented, etc., but not my cup of tea--yet this new low-fi recording he's made of the Bert Jansch song "Needle of Death" is powerful:

And here's the original:

And here's a beautiful song in a similar (though perhaps even darker) vein:

So last night I was reminded, by my wife, that a few years ago my mother received a small settlement from a drug company because my niece, who was raised primarily by my mother, hung herself with an extension cord while being treated with an anti-depression drug that did not (yet) have suicide listed among its side effects.

And this morning I'm standing at the edge of a gaping hole in my life that I'd been walking around, blissfully unaware, for a few years. I had forgotten this twist of the knife in the heart. I had steered clear of this pain, somehow, for a good long time. But how?